On my first day teaching stand-up comedy, I was attempting to emphasize the importance of timing. So I told this joke;
Have you ever seen a catfish how did he hold his pole?
When one of my students reminded me that I forgot about the long …………paws.
Sometimes I think people put things on Facebook just because they want their “friends” to make them feel better about themselves. I know this because I am not feeling very pretty today.
Don’t write xxxoooo to me unless you mean the xxxx part, otherwise you better just write ooooooooooooo.
Should I go Velcro or strings on my new tennis shoes
My biggest holiday pet peeve is when stores extend their Black Friday sales past Friday!!! GGGGGRRRRR
Nothing more annoying then when you want to take a selfie and someone offers to take your picture for you.
I think they should always make all food pumpkin flavored all the time. Except pumpkin pie of course
The thing about selfie sticks, they are really nice to have, but they just never seem to be around when you need them. Mine is always at home. And I never needed at home, but I don’t really want to carry it with me all the time either. What are you all doing about selfie sticks?
I have a question for my fitness gurus. I’m doing daily planks, adding time each day. If I want to do a 2 minute plank, and can only get to 75 seconds, pause, and then do the remaining 45 seconds, do I get the same benefit as if I completed the solid 2 minutes without a pause???
I had oxtail for lunch yesterday. It’s my second favorite kind of tail. A quarter if you can guess my favorite kind of tail.
Why is it you cannot tell when a Pfizer employee is going to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.
I wonder if they have ever had a grand opening ribbon cutting for a store that sells giant scissors?
Yevette was going to go grocery shopping and came back into the house because she forgot her vest. I told her she was leaving the vest for last.
I was just watching a movie and it made me so mad! A beautiful woman gets into the shower, gets under the shower head, and turns on the water and starts lathering up. How come she didn’t have to wait for the water to get to the right temperature first?
